All the pieces of the puzzle of life fall neatly into place. I've thought about life, existence, the universe, and God for the first fifty years of my personal life. Now I wish to divulge my findings, and find my destiny in the second 50. This is the personal/universal journey of Michael F. Nyiri

Those who misconstrue the lessons life teaches and do not learn by them are usually the ones who complain about the random nature of existence. There are those who passively become part of their own scenery, and there are those who carry around their own paintbrushes.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Why Do I Dream?
I was sitting in my chair and felt a bit tired, dozing off as usual after having been up early on a Saturday morning attending to my website at 4:00 a.m. The movie I was watching, although exciting, was not a match for my sleepiness, and I put the movie on pause, stretched the recliner to it's backmost position, took off my glasses and closed my eyes.As I lay in thought, memories and observations passing one in front of the other, my mind meandered, and I felt at peace.One or two times, I would actually pass a bit into slumber, but mostly I stayed in that strange in between state between waking and sleeping. That state where my mother used to come and visit when she was actually in her hospital bed so many years ago. Sometimes in this state, I can "open my eyes" but my eyes aren't open. I can "see myself" in my chair, dozing off. I won't attempt to explain this strange state as astral projection, or as expeiencing the unconscious, and actually entering the Universal Mind. I call it the "Waking Dream". In the waking dream state, I am experiencing while partially cognizant, the dream state, where the subconscious mind takes over the intellect. My dreams are recorded in my subconscious memory, and I have frequently revisted "places" that I have been in my dreams. My dreams of the Serengeti, in which I am a black man standing outside a plane on a runway, sometime in the 30s, is, I believe, not any reference to my own experience, but either a reference to an earlier life, or to someone else's. That is the mystery of the Universal Mind. We cannot "read minds" but we wish to. Perhaps, deep in slumber, while cognizance is shut down, we travel into the mind meanderings of our neighbors, across the street and across the globe.I am in my chair, though, and I am not thinking or visiting the Africa dream. My thoughts are liquid, fluid, melding many things. I think of the blogosphere, as I have a lot lately. I think of hurricanes, and unspeakable damage to both property, lives, and sanity. And then I almost start sleeping. Usually, this will last about an hour, what is commonly known as a "nap" and I will awake perhaps somewhat startled to be in my chair rather than my bed, but I will instantly become aware of the situation, switch back on the HDTV monitor, and resume watching my movie.This afternoon is a little different, however, inspiring the writing of this entry. I "knew" I was sleeping, so I was still in the waking dream. Enough time had not yet passed for deep REM sleep, and I doubt if I go that deep during a nap anyway. I was suddenly in the front seat of a car, "awaking" from dozing, as I 'm sure everybody does, when I was barreling through an intersection, missing narrowly a red convertible on my left as I went through the lanes on a red light. A brown van was finishing a left hand turn immediately in front of me and I was about to hit him head on.I woke up immediately and all sense of placid calmness had vanished.Now, was I dreaming of a premonition?Was I just fantasizing?Or was I "experiencing" another "dream" of someone else, or, another actual lived moment of somebody else's?There wasn't enough time to assess whether or not it was my own car, which I have seen, along with older cars I have owned, in other dreams.I was at the wheel. I think there was a crash, and I believe I heard the crunch of metal on metal right before I woke up.In the past, I have had the "death dream" many times. Clairvoyant profilers can seemingly "experience" the moment of torture of victims. Perhaps I have this ability. I saw a fellow passenger in an airline flight shot in the head by a hijacker and woke right as the hijacker aimed the gun at my head.I have fallen off of mountain climbs. I have engaged in gunplay in the "old west". I have died a thousand times in my dreams.The strangest dream dealing with death occurred when I was a small lad, but the memory of that dream is so strong I remember it today as if it happened last night.I am in a small Italian seacoast town, with ancient whitewashed houses rimming a bay. It is a beautiful area with a bright sky and billowing clouds during the day, and plenty of stars at night. It is a full moon this night, and I am trying to find the murderer of a number of villagers in the weeks previous. The beauty and solitude of the setting clashes wildly with the intention of my search. There are no people in the dream. I go from house to house where the murders occured, and in the spirit of investigation, I go completely through their belongings and homes, trying to find evidence.This is a "chapter dream" where I can wake up , go to the bathroom, do my business, and return, immediately to the same point in the dream as soon as I go back to sleep. The search takes all night, and the night in the dream lasts well into the actual night. Sometimes dreams happen in "dream time" and sometimes in real time. In the end of the dream, before I wake up, after I have completely circled the houses on the bay, I am in the last house. It is my own. I enter a bathroom, and I look in the mirror. I am the murderer. But it is not me. The sudden realization that I was actually dreaming of killing people although weirdly metaphorical, awoke me instantly. I'll never forget this dream. I'm glad it was morning , because I couldn't have gotten back to sleep anyway.Now could I have been experiencing the past life of someone else? Some other denizen of the Universal Mind, who was a murderer. Remember, in the Universal, our "final realization" is so strong that it eradicates all our immorality and evil. But the memories remain. In eternal sleep we will be able to "study" other lives and periods, and we will completely understand existence and humanity, once we are past it and on the next level.In those memories we will wander, but I wonder, sometimes, if I have, in dreams, slipped into the Universal Consciousness, and sampled something not even connected to my own life. I've never been to Italy, Africa, or had a head on collision.I wonder about these things, in my chair, or in my bed, right before I fall asleep, and dream.